A Guttersnipes Odyessy

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Thread starter #1
(If you would like to read along with the audio book, scroll down below.)

Chapter 1:

The Beginning of A Great Friendship

The setting is Tindrem. A young but incredibly skilled swordsman by the name of Orleif-subject of King Bofis-is charged with transporting exotic riches and treasures gained from his adventures in the south to his liege in the city of Fabernum.

After passing through the gate and making his way through the beautiful Tindremic vineyards, he did cross paths with a handsome yet strong alv warrior who identified himself as Maddoxx. It was with open arms that they did greet each other, for each shared a common belief in the three great gods: Bofis, Huntzman and Ornolf.

A bond stronger than mere friendship forged; the two did travel through the open plains. It was past the fortified walls of bandits and heathens-toward the harsh dry deserts surrounding Meduli-that they would stumble upon the remains of a long-abandoned inn. After searching through the rubble for supplies, they decided to use the ruins as cover from the scorching sun and made camp.

It was to be but a brief reprieve from the trials as the desert, for as they did sing songs of praise to their gods and told tales of their homelands, they were set upon by two bandits of the Einherjar tribe. The Einhearjar-known not for their combat prowess nor for their mercy-took the pair by surprise, not giving a moment's rest as they relentlessly assaulted the weary travelers.

Things looked grim; the ground was covered not with the blood of their enemies, but their own. As death loomed near, fate would have it that another traveler did overhear the clashing of swords and the shouts of battle. Not knowledgeable in the ways of war, yet ever curious, he rode his horse toward the source of the commotion.

As he approached the ruined inn, the bandits-thinking their previous quarry to be incapacitated-heard him and immediately moved to add another notch in their belts. The traveler immediately went to greet the two men riding toward him, but pulled on the reins of his horse in horror as he saw the crimson that graced not only their clothes, but also their entire bodies.

His reaction, however, was too late; the arrow that would unhorse him had already been drawn, and mere seconds later he was without a means of escape. Looking on in horror as the bandits launched both arrows and magic at his fleeing horse, he ran behind a towering rock formation in a last ditch effort to hide from his would-be executioners.

The bandits-knowing that he was not an actual threat-decided to extend his suffering for their own twisted entertainment. As the arrows and magic did fly-the poor traveler proving to be an easy target-the injured Orleif and Madoxx saw an opportunity to strike back.

As the bandits were distracted by their improvised target practice, the pair made their move. The archer met the end of Orleif's enormous mace, his skull crushed in one powerful swing. The mage met a less favorable fate; Madoxx the dexterous and sexy alv elegantly dismembered him one limb at a time, ending with his head.

After witnessing the carnage committed by his saviors, the rescued traveler wearily introduced himself as Yildrazoth, a traveling tamer who had found himself lost after leaving the town of Meduli. Thankful for his timely rescue but terrified of the other two travelers, he pledged his life and services to Maddoxx and Orleif in hopes that they would spare him.

The pair told him that they were not worthy of such a burden, and instead told him to dedicate himself to the three great gods. The two had become three. After finally recovering the plunder from a safe house in Meduli, they began the last leg of their journey to the stronghold of Fabernum.

They once again braved the desert and made their way across the plains, yet one obstacle still remained: the colored forest. Upon entering the forest, Maddoxx began telling one of the many tales of the Huntzman; how he was one of the three great gods and the guardian of the forest.

As if in answer to his tales, from the west the group suddenly heard the sounds of war: clashing swords, the shouting of orders, and howls of pain. The three looked at each other in silent understanding; it was the Huntzman ending the lives of soldiers who sought to defile his forest.

Not interested in meeting the same unfortunate fate as those soldiers and countless others, the three men dashed over rocks and streams; through underbrush and past the seemingly endless rows of trees. They did not notice the warmth of the sun beating down upon them-nor the smell of fresh air-until they had reached the Kranesh lake and threw themselves into its cold embrace.

Having arrived in Fabernum, the locals greeted them with both praise and admiration. One citizen in particular-a strange alv who wore both a fantastic hairstyle the likes of which they had ever seen and a suit of scale armor that shone line the sun-by the name of Tesmen showed them the way to the local inn and bought the party several rounds of grog and traditional roast pig.

As the four of them sat around the table discussing the battle against the bandits in no small detail (much to the delight of several bar wenches), it was decided that a sacrifice to the three great gods was due. Tradition dictates that, when possible, a sacrifice must be made after every great victory, thanking the gods for their assistance in battle. At dawn they would be head north, to the highest peaks so that the gods might see it from far above.

It was as the festivities continued that Tesmen did pledge himself and his services to the three gods, offering the travelers any services and supplies they might need. The offer was met with cheers, praise to the three, and another round of grog for everyone. It was at this point that Maddoxx-the strangely handsome elven warrior-took an interest in serveral of the bar wenches, and they in him. Two of them suddenly grabbed either of his arms and led him to his chambers.

Knowing better than to ask where Maddoxx had wandered off to, Orleif and Yildrazoth decided to get some rest to better prepare for the sacrifice at dawn.


Written by The HUNTZMAN
Edited by Mortalitas
AudioBook - voiced by GrayFox https://soundcloud.com/odyssey-of-the-huntzman

Special thanks to Herj

hope you guys enjoyed. watch the stream to catch the next episode on what may happen to our heroes and even be apart of this epic story!


CHAPTER 2: http://www.mortalonline.com/forums/threads/a-guttersnipes-odyessy-chapter-2.107463/

CHAPTER 3: http://www.mortalonline.com/forums/threads/a-guttersnipes-odyessy-chapter-3.108746/


Senior Member
Nice story... but the twitch link leads to an offline channel saying "Quitting MO"?? :rolleyes:
Thread starter #3
yeah the show is offline at the moment. Ill post when we start streaming the next episode. maybe in a day or two.
Thread starter #15
omfg im cracking my ass right now
if you wish to crack your ass some more then tune in for our next episode on thursday!

and if you miss the live stream of the episode then read the next chapter and follow along with the audible book.


Senior Member
Is there going to be a book-signing?


Exalted Member
And to think I passed up an audition for this voice role just because Tukh is one of the last people in the world you should try to have get my attention.

Still available for proofreading, of course.


Senior Member
I'm always impressed with the creativity of the The Guttersnipes........BRAVO!
Thread starter #19
And to think I passed up an audition for this voice role just because Tukh is one of the last people in the world you should try to have get my attention.

Still available for proofreading, of course.

thats why you should never go to tukh. Always the HUNTZMAN
Thread starter #20
Is there going to be a book-signing?

When the episodes and chapters are all finished as well as the audibles then The HUNTZMAN will be scheduling a book signing event
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